Mom Guilt vs. Love

Mom guilt—common a feeling that sneaks into the minds of most mothers, but when you have a child with a disability, I feel like it never goes away, at least for me. In caring for my 11-month-old baby with special needs, the weight of this guilt often feels overwhelming. No matter how much we do in a day—physiotherapy, sensory play, linguistic practice, feeding schedules, and what seems like mountain of other responsibilities—it never feels like enough.

Every single night before bed, the thoughts creep in. “Did I do enough physio? Could I have entertained him more? Did I talk to him enough to stimulate his language development?” There’s a constant feeling that I could have done more, even though every second of the day is already packed with activities that I believe will help my child grow and thrive.

Then, there’s the fear of the future.

The day will come when my son goes to school, and I can’t help but feel anxious about it. I see how hard it is for me—someone who loves him more than anything in this world—to manage his needs. What will it be like for someone else? Will they have the patience? Will they see him the way I do, as a child full of potential and joy, not just his challenges? It’s terrifying to think about.

And then, there’s work. The thought of returning to a job outside the home adds another layer of guilt and fear. How can I possibly balance everything? Will I still be able to meet his needs if I’m working? How can I give him the best of me when I’m being pulled in so many different directions? These are questions that I ponder.

But every morning, something magical happens (I am aware that this sounds incredibly cheesy—it is truly reality). I wake up to my son’s smile, and for that moment, everything feels right.

In him, I see love, trust, and happiness.

He doesn’t see my guilt or my fears—he just sees me, his mom, his person. I am the one he counts on, and that means everything.

Mom guilt is real, and it is fierce. But love—that’s what truly matters. Love is what makes me get up every day and do everything I can for him. No matter how much guilt I feel at the end of the day, I know that love is what he needs most, and that’s something I can always give.

So, to all the moms out there who feel the weight of this guilt in raising children with disabilities, remember this: you are doing enough. We may not always feel it, but we are giving our children what matters most—our unconditional love. And in the end, that is all they need.