In This Together

If there’s one thing that really grinds my gears it’s when someone suggests that SEND parents are ‘coining it in’ – getting loads of financial support in the form of benefits and that they must have somehow ‘gamed the system’ to get this and other things they see as ‘perks’, such as a blue badge, transport to school, 1:1 TA support in class (don’t make me laugh), or whatever kind of support they get.

It is so blatantly untrue.

Access is not a ‘perk’ it is a RIGHT.

Free education is not a ‘perk’ it is a RIGHT.

For the parents of ‘typically-developing’ children it is a right that is taken for granted: for most, there will be a school nearby that will be able and willing to meet their child’s needs and offer them an appropriate education (whether or not they like the school or consider it ‘good enough’ is merely a matter of personal opinion).

But for SEND families this right can never be taken for granted -- there may be no school within reasonable travelling distance that is able and willing to meet their child’s needs, provide the extra support required to make the curriculum accessible and meaningful to the child.

Not to mention the fact that parents are LEGALLY OBLIGED to ensure that their children are in education.

Far from being a ‘free taxi service’ for children, school transport enables the parents of children with special educational needs and disabilities to fulfil their legal obligation to ensure that their child is in education in cases where the nearest appropriate school (i.e. the nearest one that can meet their child’s needs) is miles away.

It isn’t automatically given to every child with SEND – you usually need to live more than a certain distance away from the school to qualify; occasionally other circumstances will be taken into consideration. The taxi will only take the child between home and school, and vice-versa, on school days at the usual start/finish time.

My son, now 16, is still legally obliged to be in education, employment or training, but the nearest suitable post-16 provision is on the other side of the city. Despite this, he is no longer entitled to free transport – I have to pay a hefty contribution.

The alternative, take him myself on public transport, three different buses each way in peak rush-hour traffic, is neither safe nor practicable. Meanwhile, in some parts of the country, typically-developing young people attending further education colleges get free bus passes. So exactly how am I ‘taking advantage’?

Something that can make me even more angry are comments from some other parents. Comments to the effect that although they themselves were not taking advantage, they knew other parents who were, pointing the finger at the parents of children with Autism, ADHD and other ‘hidden’ disabilities; claiming that these parents have merely ‘self-identified’ their children as having one of these conditions in order to avoid responsibility for a lack of discipline, and as a result of this ‘self-identification’ had gained access to benefits, extra help, etc, etc, that they weren’t really entitled to.

But this is utter nonsense.

I know it is because I have a child with two neurodivergent conditions. I know how hard you need to battle to be believed, how many professionals you have to prove your case to before you get even the bare minimum of help: educators, educational psychologists, doctors – all experts. They do the identifying, not the parents. And anyone who has ever filled in a DWP form will know exactly how difficult and taxing they are, and how much evidence you need to provide. Disability benefits aren’t given away free in boxes of cornflakes.

But just because it’s nonsense, that doesn’t mean it’s innocuous. It has damaging consequences, deepening the stigma already experienced by neurodivergent people and their families. It has the potential to bring about more far-reaching and dangerous damage also.

I don’t know if you know this, but disabled children had no automatic right to education in England until 1970. That’s well within living memory. It’s within my own lifetime (compare this with education for non-disabled children which became compulsory in 1880 in England and Wales).

It is a right that was hard-won, tirelessly fought for by parents like ourselves. But even today, there are people, who would like to snatch that right away again, because they believe our children do not deserve it, that they are ‘less than’

In such challenging times, we cannot afford to be fighting amongst ourselves, trying to throw one another under the bus. We’re all in this together. We must link arms and stand shoulder-to-shoulder to fight for our children’s rights, or risk losing them altogether.