Do not allow yourself to be intimidated by the Professionals

My son James is largely non-verbal. He says three clear words and attempts to say a few others that only those who know him really well would recognise. He also communicates by signing, using symbols, gestures and objects of reference. At 28 years old communication is an area of his development in which I feel there is potential for progress.

James was long ago discharged from the NHS speech and language therapy services so a couple of years ago I initiated a private speech and language therapy assessment. I contacted a therapist and we chatted about James’ diagnosis and history.

During that first telephone conversation…..

….I was astounded that the therapist actually said to me, “If James lived with me (referring to herself) I’d have him talking by now.” I thought this woman is either a total genius and could succeed where all others including myself have failed or she is totally arrogant. Wanting only the best for James I was prepared to bite my tongue and listen to what she could offer.

I filled in all the paperwork she sent me regarding James’ developmental history and she came to meet us and carry out her assessment. She sat with James and I while we played his puzzles and read his books all the time chatting whilst she was observing James range of communication skills.

After about an hour and a half she suggested that maybe some of James care team from his supported accommodation could join us so she could share her ideas. A couple of his care team and his house manager joined us.

During the therapist’s feedback to us there was absolutely nothing she suggested that we weren’t already doing with James. When she spoke about using books with James his home manager pulled books from his shelves to show her, many of which are personalised life story books I make online for him which he loves. Along with these are many other books, picture books of animals and many others which we look at with James and he enjoys pointing out requested objects and then ‘signing’ them to us.

Around James’ home he has schedules and visual aids to support his communication further, all of which were shown to her. She explained repeatedly that a child needs to hear a word over 500 times before they will use it. I cannot even begin to imagine how many thousands of times I have used words with James that he is still unable to say.

I can’t say that I didn’t feel somewhat offended.

However, in my willingness to find something new to unlock the potential within James, I put my feelings aside and I listened respectfully to what she had to say. What was interesting was seeing how James’ staff got defensive on my behalf. Having got to know James and myself well over a couple of years they know just how much time I’ve spent doing all kinds of activities with James, making matching games for him, books, timetables and symbols not to say the hours and hours I have spent with him playing games and reading. And his staff do too I might add.

When the therapists written report arrived that too suggested nothing new. I’m not saying it wasn’t all valid but nothing new. I’m also not saying that it’s not important to seek guidance and advice from qualified professionals but….maybe on this occasion we had a bad experience. If I were not so assured that we had done everything within our power to support James’ communication along with all his teachers and previous therapists, this one lady could have made me feel like I’d failed my son. I know I haven’t.