Take One Dog Daily

October is Down’s Syndrome Awareness Month. I have known about this since Freddie was born. But I recently found out that 15th October is National Pug Day, and I decided I would write a piece about the benefits Pug ownership has had for Freddie. But when I thought about it, I realised that although owning a dog has had benefits for him, it has had even more benefits for me as a Parent Carer.

I grew up with terriers around the house. Whenever I fell out with my parents, which was often, my dog would come and find me wherever I was sulking and just sit with me, a quiet, calm hairy little scrap of unconditional love. After I left home, I didn’t have a dog for a long time. My husband already had a beautiful but neurotic cat when we met, and when our children were small, they were instinctively afraid of dogs. But when Freddie came along, he had no such fear: he was fascinated with them and wanted to go charging up to any dog he met in the street, so I had to establish early on the ground rules of interacting safely with them.

Freddie and I talked about dogs. We read about dogs together, the different kinds, how to look after them and understand their behaviour. In time, my older children outgrew their fear of dogs and Freddie big sister even decided she would like a dog of her own one day -– a Pug called Pickle. Pickle became Freddie’s fantasy pet too. then Big Sister decided to manifest Pickle into reality once she started work – she saved up and brought home a half-grown puppy, a tiny, nervous little soul.

The puppy spent the first day in our house thoroughly dejected, unwilling to eat or interact much and completely silent.

It was the summer holidays and one afternoon Freddie decided to watch TV in the living room. I went to switch in on for him and the puppy followed me. I stayed to supervise and after a few minutes, the little puppy went and sat close beside Freddie. He didn’t grab her or try to make a big fuss of her. Engaged in the TV, he just let her sit, right beside him, only touching her occasionally and very gently. The next day she sat with him again, snuggled close, but this time, when a car went past she uttered a single tiny yip, the first sound he had made since being in our house. Wherever Freddie was, in those early days, she made a beeline for him and gradually her confidence grew.

When I picked her up, the familiar smell of her fur took me back to childhood. Within months I had adopted a pug of my own too.

It’s strange how dogs seem to know things – she seemed to know that she had to be different and more gentle with Freddie and with my mum who lived with me at the time and was in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

One of the main benefits of owning a dog for both Freddie and myself had been in terms of exercise.

Freddie is often reluctant to leave the house during weekends and school holidays and the resulting reduction in physical activity worsens his constipation. But now we HAVE to go out to take the dog for walkies and Freddie knows that it is very helpful if he comes with me and holds open the lid of the red poo bins, as I find them quite difficult to operate with one hand whilst hanging on to the Pug with the other. He performs this service now automatically without me asking.

This imperative to get out and walk the dog has another benefit for me.

If I’ve had a fraught and stressful morning trying to get Freddie ready for college, then getting out for a walk with my Pug is a great way to decompress. We just mooch along together in companionable silence. I breathe in and out, let my thoughts idle and keep my attention focused on her, so don’t have to interact or make eye contact with anyone else if I don’t want to: and 9 times out of 10 any interactions I do have with other people will be positive, centred on the dog. And should I want to go and have a quiet coffee somewhere I don’t feel like some awkward Billy-No-Mates because I have my little pal with me.

The wholesome side effects of stroking a pet on things like blood pressure and general wellbeing are well-known.

Pugs were bred as companions and bed-warmers in Imperial China and as a breed, generally, seem to crave closeness and actively enjoy being petted and cuddled. I now make a point of sitting down each evening for some snuggle time with her. When she clambers into my lap and lays her head on my chest it is impossible not to relax and start to nod off. For that reason she is the best medicine for the horrible headaches I sometimes get. The painkillers work so much better if taken under a blanket with a warm, velvety, squishy Pug curled up next to me. They are nature’s hot water bottles.

I don’t mean to suggest that owning a dog is a panacea for all the stress-related problems and ailments that can beset Special Needs parents. It all depends on individual family circumstances. But there is emerging evidence to suggest that in those families where a dog is obtained for the child with Special Needs, there are often beneficial effects for the parent carers too.