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2020: Let’s be resolved

Victoria Tkachuk by Victoria Tkachuk Additional Needs

Victoria Tkachuk

Victoria Tkachuk

I'm from the Midwest region of the United States and I have four children, three neurotypical daughters and one son with dyskinetic cerebral palsy....

Fresh starts, don't we love them?

A new year begins and everyone wants to talk about working on themselves, their goals, their careers, etc.

I hate to bear bad news but the changing of a calendar year is arbitrary; we can set goals for ourselves any time we want.

That second half is the good news! This year I realized that having goals helps me see my son's progress, so it would probably help me, too.

Here are some specific goals I've set for myself this year.

Take more pictures with my kids

This is a priority. I'm usually behind the camera, not in front. I'm going to get over my weird guilt about asking strangers to snap a photo so that I can have more visual memories with me in them!

Return messages to medical or education team members within two days

This goal reminds me that I need to respect other peoples' time more. I usually fall into thinking that “I'm just too busy” to return calls or e-mails, but it's simply not true. Every evening, before I settle into recreational time, I will return any messages outstanding.

Set boundaries with my friends

I have the best friends; they are not demanding, judgmental, or anything other than understanding and kind to me and my children. It's natural to want to spend a lot of time with them! But arranging meet-ups last minute stresses me out. Regular play dates, on the same day each week, will help us feel less anxious.

Attend to my basic needs every day

This one should go without saying, but honestly I do not take very good care of myself. And that doesn't make me holier-than-thou; on the contrary, it's very unwise. When I neglect my own needs for respite and attending to my interests, I begin to resent my role as a caregiver. I resolve to find time each day to do something good for me, whether it's reading a good book, going to bed earlier, exercising, or doing something creative.

Write down when we have a good day

This is crucial. It's so easy to get bogged down in the bad days, so I need a visual reminder of when something good has happened! I'd love to look back at the end of 2020 and read about all the wonderful things that we experienced, big or small.

Hopefully, I can stick to these goals and make this year more meaningful.


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