Becoming you

Rebecca Highton by Rebecca Highton Additional Needs

Rebecca Highton

Rebecca Highton

I am a mum of twins, one has special needs. I enjoy blogging about life and the reality of parenting.

I wasn’t too sure what the title of this blog should be.

Initially when writing it, I intended for it to be about how fathers are so often disregarded and considered the lesser parent than mothers.

But as I began writing, it did not feel right. Instead, I felt the need to write about how amazing it is to see your partner become a father.

The day we found out I was having twins was not an easy day. It was a shock to say the least. It was not something I was prepared for, yet instantly, Zak was my rock.

He accepted and embraced the fact we were having twins far quicker than I did. He became excited and changed straight away.

Looking back, the change is easy to see. It was not physical, but mental and emotional.

At the time, I barely noticed. I was so caught up in the changes I was going through physically and mentally that I struggled to see the change he went through.

I felt alone at the time, after all, how could he understand when he was not the one carrying the babies? When it wasn’t his body that was working overtime and growing at a rapid rate in order to support two tiny humans.

But he was doing so much more than I ever realised. He was making sure I was well.

His main priority was me, because without my health, there was no hope for me or our children.

At the time, I struggled to see that. All I saw was him mithering and bothering me.

The constant questions about how I was feeling and if I needed anything, how he always made sure I didn’t tire myself out or put my body through too much physical strain.

At the time, I took for granted how he attended every appointment with me, and there were a lot of appointments.

Not only did I have ultrasound scans every two weeks, but I had blood tests, blood pressure checks and urine samples, I had check ups on my anti-sickness medication and my own mental health.

And Zak was there through it all. He wasn’t going through the physical change, but throughout all of it he was changing mentally and emotionally.

He was preparing for the change that was coming to our lives and was a father before our children were even born.

He was a father through caring for me. He knew that through caring for me he was caring for our children. He knew that by ensuring my health was as good as it could be, he was giving our children the best chance they could have.

In the haze of pregnancy confusion that I often experienced, he would remind me to eat proper meals, encourage me to drink plenty of fluids, remind me to take all the medications I needed and encourage me to do gentle exercises and keep active.

At a time where I was at my most vulnerable, he made sure I was cared for and safe. He was a father months before our boys were born and is the best father I could hope for my children to have.

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