How holidays have changed

My husband and I have been together since 1985. Our first ever holiday together was in a caravan in Wales. As time went on and we had a little more money we ventured abroad. Holidays were something you looked forward to for a break away from work, some sunshine and the excitement of exploring new places. And of course, getting to spend some quality time together.

Then came children!

Holidays changed completely. I’m not saying they weren’t fun but they were just very different. We have two boys with three and a half years between them. My eldest has severe learning disabilities and autism. He also had complex issues around eating, specific needs in terms of food texture and a restricted dairy diet. Added to that he has a gastrostomy and seizures to contend with…..oh and challenging behaviours too.

So we rolled back the years and went back to holidaying in caravans. Nothing wrong with that at all. Caravans or lodges on holiday parks these days are like mini-houses and you have the advantage of on-site shops, swimming pools, play areas etc.

With two lively boys with different needs there was absolutely no chance of any quality alone time together for me and my husband. That’s fine, it’s what you expect when you have a young family. Yes, it was hard at times, James would wake in the night and be up very early in the mornings waking his brother too and my husband and I would often go our separate ways with one boy a piece because they’d want to be doing different things or most often James wasn’t interested or was unable to take part in what Harry wanted to do.

We had some fun times.

I look back on those holidays and the time with the boys with fond memories. I think we did the best we could in the circumstances.

James is now 28 years old and lives in supported accommodation. Harry is 24 years old and lives with us. We don’t holiday as a foursome any more. Harry goes on trips with his friends and has been on walking holidays with his dad too. The three of us may have a night or weekend away together, usually for some sporting occasion – purely as spectators!

James, his dad and I go away each summer for a few days holiday. We don’t go far from where he lives and we stay in a large lodge on a holiday park. We have everything we need there; a shop/café, indoor and outdoor pools and our own private hot tub. This along with his own puzzles and iPad and a whole heap of undivided attention is what James needs to keep him happy. He still doesn’t sleep enough and it’s pretty exhausting but now James no longer lives with us we know we can get some rest when we get back home.

Life has gone full circle.

So here we are all these years later and last year my husband and I went on holiday abroad and alone together for the first time in many years. It was touch and go whether we’d get there as James was unwell a few days beforehand but we did go and it was amazing. It felt like the interim period of time had melted away. I’ll always worry about leaving the boys but I can be in contact with my youngest and I can see how James is doing on his home’s care control app. Keeping in touch is so easy these days.

Life really has gone full circle, as we strolled in the sunshine on our little Greek island, just the two of us, I almost felt thirty years younger ...… if it hadn’t been for the aches and pains in this tired old body that is!!