Dear Christopher

Amanda O'Neill by Amanda O'Neill Additional Needs

Amanda O'Neill

Amanda O'Neill

I’m Amanda, I’m 25 and mummy to my little angel Ryan who has quadriplegic dystonic cerebral palsy. I never knew in life what i wanted to be when I...

Dear Christopher,

When we started our relationship 7 years ago I knew we would have a family together, because for the first time in my life I found somebody I love.

I did, however, picture things a lot different to the life we live today.

Thinking back to the 'perfect' idea of a life we had planned in our heads compared to today's it is 1000 times more difficult but its a journey that was made for us together. ​

I want to start my letter off to you by saying THANK YOU! Thank you for giving me the opportunity to be a mum and for giving me the chance to experience growing a life.

I have bonded for 9 months with our own little person and realized what love, at first sight, is.

None of this would be possible without you.

From the day our son was born I watched you grow from a boy into the man that you are today. From Christopher into Ryan's dad. ​

In the beginning, we both know that it was a massive shock for you- to go from doing what you wanted each day to then have somebody who relies on you.

Being a first-time dad was tough but for us, it was only going to get tougher.

The day that we found out our perfect boy was going to face difficulties for the rest of his life and never be able to live independently was the day our world came crashing down.

I worried it would get too much for us to handle as a couple and that I would be left to do it all myself.

I stupidly blamed myself every single day for Ryan's condition, I did not understand how this had happened and I did not understand why it happened OUR family.

In my mind, I had one job as a mum and that was to look after our baby when he was growing inside me and I thought I had failed.

I feared you would think the same. Christopher from that day on you supported me and Ryan and promise me we were in this together.

From that day we continue to work together to bring up our precious son.​

I can not even put into words the bond between you and Ryan. The minute you enter to room or speak to him his face lights up.

It is no secret that he loves his daddy.

There is never a day you get upset about missing all the things a dad and son should be able to do together.

I honestly admire that about you as we both know that it is me who gets down about missing out on the 'typical' family things we should be able to do.

You take it on the chin and together we find new things to do with Ryan to make memories.​

There is never a job when it comes to Ryan that you won't do.

You never miss a hospital appointment, you never miss a day of dropping Ryan off at the nursery.

You go above and beyond to make sure he smiles every single day. ​

Christopher, I now want to end my letter off to you by again saying THANK YOU!

This time I am thanking you for being the dad that Ryan needs, the dad that he deserves, the dad that will forever continue to show him nothing but love.

Love is not defined by someone's health or well-being and the way you love our son shows this every day. ​

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