Fearing Flu Season

We made it through August.

The ENTIRE month came and went without the typical back-to-school germs takedown. Week after week, I have sighed with relief as my daughter maintained good health.

For the first time, EVER, we’ve greeted Autumn without any sickness!

As September quickly rolls in, the all-too-familiar anxiety over the looming flu season creeps up on me. School has been underway for 45 days now; colds, viruses, and respiratory infections are invisibly hovering all around us.

They are waiting to strike and take us down for the count.

When your child has complex medical needs and disabilities, flu season is extra daunting. My daughter has been hospitalized in the past for simple ear infections and common, run-of-mill viruses.

With fever or any infection comes terrifying seizures.

As I silently celebrate one whole year of her being seizure-free, I can’t keep the worries of the coming months at bay. I can’t look forward to my once favorite season without a nagging sense of dread.

Changing seasons has taken on a whole new meaning since becoming the mother of a medically complex child.
When your child can’t tell you when she hurts…

When a gut-wrenching seizure signals the beginning of an illness…

When you rely on a pulse oximeter machine to monitor her sleep, to alarm you in case her breathing or heart rate becomes abnormal…

When your child can’t blow her nose or cough productively and sicknesses linger for weeks...

You can’t help but fret.

As the leaves begin to fall and the breeze turns crisp and cool, my stress level rises. I want to relish this beautiful time of year without the apprehension I always feel at its arrival.

My child loves school and adores being around people.

Even before the pandemic, we always had to keep our guard up and be careful. Since her first days, so tiny and residing in the NICU, flu season has always brought trepidation. She’s incredibly loving and she is the first to grab someone’s hand. She doesn’t appreciate the concept “personal space” as her friendliness to others knows no bounds.

This Fall, as usual, we’ll avoid large get-togethers when case numbers are high. We’ll stay home from school if an unexpected sniffle arises, just to be safe. We’ll continue to stay vigilant with hand washing, flu shots and immune system boosting vitamins. We’ll be especially mindful in crowds.

I long to take my daughter trick-or-treating this year. I don’t want her to be sick on her birthday or miss out on any school activities or field trips. I yearn to relax at gatherings, without constantly scanning the room for coughs and sneezes.

I want to look forward to this wonderful season and for my family to truly savor every moment of it, together. For me, calm will never fully exist. But, as the time of year is upon us, I will tirelessly try to at least quiet my incessant, relentless fear of the flu.