I Envy You

Hello, I’m a special needs parent and I envy all parents with children that don’t have additional needs.

Oh.. I just said that out loud... that feels like a big deal.

Am I going to get called a bad mum? Attention seeker?

Well right now I feel like I have to share it and get this weight off my shoulders.

I absolutely LOVE my children, inside and out they are the most wonderful little people and I feel incredible to be their mother. My children bring me absolute joy every day and my love for them could not be greater.

Which is why I feel pretty guilty even writing this blog.

One example is when talking about what others do in their free time.

“Oh we just had a lazy week, I attended a mother and toddler group and my little one ran round and loved it!” or “I’m back at work full time so when we are at home we just play and be silly”

I envy you.

I can’t go back to work because my son needs me full time, during the week we are at appointments and therapy, we do physio each and every day and even getting dressed and ready in the morning with medication, AFO’s, stretches and everything else that’s needed, it takes at least double the time.

Another reason is my knees hurt, my back hurts and my arms ache every single day.

When you have a child that can’t move around then YOU are their legs, it’s YOU that carries them and helps them get up and down.

You are told not to and are given advice on the “correct” way to do things but let’s be honest, we just want our children to be happy so if that means doing tasks that we are fully aware will not do our backs and knees any good then we go ahead and do it anyway!

I feel like I’m constantly in a daze.

It’s hard to explain but there’s always SO MUCH racing round in my mind “did I give him his 11am medication?” “Did we have an appointment today?” “Have we done enough physio?”

That when others are talking to me then often, I feel like I’m looking at them but not taking in a word that they are saying, how can I when there’s so much to try and remember each and every day!

And it can also get pretty lonely sometimes because you often don’t have time for anything else.

So yes, I’m admitting it.

I don’t want to change anything and I cope pretty well with what I have to but I really do envy those who don’t have to go through what us special needs parents have to.