I Hope She Knows

Every morning, I watch my daughter sleeping peacefully for a moment, before gently waking her.

In the stillness and quiet of the early daylight, I observe her angelic face and anticipate the joyful, sleepy smile that will soon beam from it. I eagerly await a wave from her tiny little hand to say “hello.”

These moments are treasured and are the absolute highlight of my day.

This morning, before leaning over to kiss her forehead, a barrage of thoughts rush to my mind. There are so many things that I suddenly wonder if she truly knows and understands, as a nonverbal thirteen-year-old with complex disabilities.

Love is a language that often requires no words.

Our family has become well-versed in that method of communication. As I prepare to awaken her from her sweet slumber, I hope she knows, every second of the day, how greatly loved she is.

I hope she knows that as long as I have breath in my lungs, I’ll be right there, every morning. I’ll be ready to lift her from her safety bed and carry her, until my own body fails me.

I hope she knows that even when I complain out loud of a backache or tiredness, it’s still my honor and privilege to care for her.

I hope she knows when I drop her off at school that I always pray for a safe, happy, perfect day for her. I hope she’ll know only inclusion and kindness, each second she spends there. I hope she knows that I’ll always be back at the end of the day, to meet her with open arms.

I hope she knows that I take my Mama Bear role seriously, and I will forever advocate for her to have everything she needs. I will consistently fight for a space at the table for her.

She will face nothing alone.

I hope she knows how her Daddy’s heart melts into a puddle, every single time she grabs him by the neck and pulls him in for a tight hug. How she makes her big brother so proud when she attempts to meet his hand in a fist bump or give him a high-five.

I hope she knows that her vibrant and silly personality, with just enough stubbornness, serves her well.

I hope she knows how brave and strong she is. I hope she knows she’s worthy and that she is enough.

As she begins to stir, and her day will soon begin, I hope she knows how she makes us all strive to be better people; she brings out the very best in us. I hope she knows how she makes the world a brighter place, just by being in it.