Time to Reflect

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Zowie Kaye

Zowie Kaye

My Big Fat Greek Family – we love our food and love each other even more. We're a like liquorice allsorts, all a bit different. I’m a full time wor...

When I saw this title as a blog suggestion header, I was a little taken aback as it made me think for a quick second - made me reflect when it’s not something that I often do.

I’m scared to reflect in many ways about the SEN journey we have endured, it feels like we have been on it for so long - yet it’s never ending.

I will never forget what my mum once told me early on:

"it doesn’t really get easier Zo, the worries and problems you face just change to different ones"

And this is exactly right; as you conquer one challenge, it’s not that you have now finished or even that you have time to reflect before moving onto the next – they just morph into each other, into what feels like just a constant barrage of emotion and strife.

I like to think that I am quite an optimistic person and not one to dwell as that takes too much of my energy, energy that I need for the tough days.

Saying this though I am a worrier about getting things right and the need to be in control.

I have been a nightmare whilst making the secondary school selection this year.

I suppose another reason I’m not all keen to reflect, I don’t want to focus on the “what ifs” and the “I wonders” because all said and done I can’t change anything and I know that every decision that I have so far made has been to the best of my ability and knowledge for what I considered to be the best for my child.

Reflection for me automatically takes my mind to focus on the bad – the what went wrong.

Ask me this same question in a work environment and I will pick out every highlight and time to shine to give you the best end of year review possible!!

So why not for my life, which is full of so much good?

I’m going to try…….

In fact; if I reflect on Cameron’s primary school journey as a whole, now that he is in year 6 – yes there were some issues and low points but there have been some absolute diamond moments too:

His first residential trip

His head teachers award

His first best friend

Him passing his phonetics test when it was not expected he would

Receiving postcards of praise from school about his learning and attitude

Every teacher, in every year saying he is an absolute joy and so loving

Him learning about his autism and then wanting to share an informative video with his class

Helping the younger children in school as “buddy’s”

Him volunteering to help on the xmas sale stall after school as its “nice to help others”

I am grateful for all the above, all the nice comments from his peers and from people that know us.

Yes, there are obstacles that we must manoeuvre and there will always be challenges but I have a beautiful, healthy, kind, funny and knowledgeable child who is healthy and happy.

A child who loves his parents, his family, his friends – loves technology, loves going to the gym and can’t wait for “all the fun things that we do”!!

So actually, on reflection – I’m the luckiest woman in the world, I have a well-rounded child with manners and so much love to give to those that will deserve to receive it from him!!


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