Making our relationship work

15 years ago I became a single parent. My son was only a few months old and already the toll of being new parents had taken a hit on our already rocky relationship. We weren't just new parents, but first time parents getting to grips with a child who spent a lot of time in hospital really poorly.

Navigating parenthood is hard. It’s even harder when your child has complex medical needs or special needs. I spent 3 years as a single parent before I got together with my now husband. I had thought I would be single forever. I didn’t think anyone would want to take on my life. Who would want to become a part of a medically complex family and choose to have that for themselves?

Well my husband did!

From day one he stepped into those medically complex shoes and embraced it whole heartedly! From the moment we got together it’s never fully been about us! Ethan’s needs come above ours always! We had to build a relationship around hospital visits and countless sleepless nights.

Those early days were hard for both of us. We both needed to find our place in the relationship. Me being the one who was used to doing everything myself, and my husband who wanted to help and take all that stress away as he knew he could go home after!

12 years on we still don't have a lot of time to ourselves together. Evenings are taken up with settling children, drawing up medicines, sorting carers, preparing for meetings or one of us crashing from exhaustion! Our weekends are spent in visiting hours at the hospital, picking up medicines or one of us taking out the other children whilst one stays at home to care for our eldest.

On the rare occasions we can all get out together its lovely, but not just for us as a couple!

Even with all this, when the time finally comes to spend time together, it’s special, even more so once we've both had a nap!! We are a team and love is firmly holding us together. We have to work hard to find moments to care for our relationship but it works somehow! I wouldn’t say I wouldn’t change it because I absolutely would! I'd love more time to spend happy fun with my husband. For now though we make it work and try to grab those special moments when we can. Even if that means grabbing a middle of the night burger together on the way to the intensive care unit!!