10 Things I am Glad my Son with Learning Difficulties Will Never Do
Miriam Gwynne
Full time mum and carer for two truly wonderful autistic twins. I love reading, writing, walking, swimming and encouraging others. Don’t struggle a...
In fact he cannot speak at all. He cannot write any letters of the alphabet or any numbers and is not toilet trained.
He has significant learning difficulties as well as autism, a rare genetic condition called Neurofibromatosis type 1, and global delay.
There are so many things in life he will never get to experience or will only experience on a very basic level.
He is unlikely to ever be able to live independently and will never go to university or drive a car. It is unlikely he will be able to work a bank account, cook meals for himself or have a job.He is not going to be sporty or be a great politician nor will he own a house or even be able to read a newspaper.
These are all things that sometimes get me down as his mum.
We all long for our children to experience the best that life has to offer. We want them to succeed and be happy.
We perhaps hope one day they may even bless us with grandchildren!
My little boy will never even be able to go on holiday himself.
But while these are all things I am sad he will miss out on there are other things about life that I am actually glad he will never understand or be part of.
These are the things that bring me comfort because his life is simple and uncomplicated.
His innocence is something more of us need to embrace.1. He will not lie.
He has no capacity to understand what lying is and for me that is a wonderful blessing indeed.
2. He will never be jealous of what others have.
Isaac is engrossed in his own world. He has no idea when it is even his birthday or Christmas let alone what car someone else drives or whether they have better clothes.
He is content with whom he is and what he has and that is something that brings me great delight.
3. He will never say anything horrible to anyone, ever!
Words are so powerful. While my son is unable to speak in some ways that brings me happiness because too often people use the ability to speak to calm others names or say such horrible things.
I am proud to have a son that will never do that at any point in his life.
4. He will never understand wars, terrorism or hatred.
Current affairs are a total mystery to my son. He does not understand why people fight or death in any way.
In a world where sadly these things are more commonplace than anyone would like I know my son is sheltered from those things due to his level of understanding.
When I watch the news in tears at another incident I am so thankful that this part of life is something my son will never need to worry about.
5. He will never be racist.
People are people to my son. Colour is not something he is aware of, nor does he concern himself with your religion, politics, or sexual orientation.
He will sit on your knee and show you his iPad or lean against you regardless who you are in life.
I want to be much more like that too.
6. He will never be swayed by peer pressure.My son is very socially unaware. If everyone around him was smoking it would not occur to him that he was different.
As he enters his teenage years and other parents worry about the pressures this brings with society I have no fear of this.
While he may be gullible he will never be swayed by social pressure to conform and that is so refreshing to watch.
That is a huge blessing to me!
7. It is unlikely he will ever commit a crime.
My son will need carers with him all his life. He is naive and has limited understanding.
While he may not understand the concept that goods need payed for in shops or that there are speed limits because he will always have others looking out for him he will most likely never be arrested.
He won't go around with a gun or knife and has no capacity to rape or mug anyone.
There is a whole aspect of crime that is way beyond his comprehension and as a parent I have no fear of the police arriving at my door because my son has been taking drugs or stolen someone's car.
This is something I will always be so thankful for.
8. He will never be motivated by money.
Get rich quick schemes are not something I will ever have to worry about my son becoming embroiled in. He will never trample over others to get more money neither will he cheat others or be ruthless.
His total childlike innocence means he will be as thrilled with coppers as he would with millions.
Money has no meaning to him and while for many that is a sign of missing out for me it gives me reassurance that his motivation will always be pure and he will treat everyone the same.We need more of that in life.
9. He will always find pleasure in the simplest of things.
I can easily imagine my son as an adult getting just as much excitement watching a lift door open and close as he does now at 8.
Christmas for him is about having mashed potato with his dinner much more than it is about presents.
The wrapping paper and packaging are much more fun than anything else. I cannot imagine him ever outgrowing toddler programmes or the simplicity of lying on a bed playing with his own feet!
10. He will never know what others think of him.
He will never know that society sees him as less than, of little value. He will never know that people make fun of him or ignore him.
He sees his own self-worth and walks with his head held high. I adore that about him.
He is who he is and he does not give a monkeys what others opinions are.
Many people have pitied my son or myself. Society sees people like my son as a negative thing but I don't.I look at my son and smile at his innocence and purity and I see an inner beauty that is never going to disappear. He is pure gold in a world tarnished by hatred and pride.
He is a treasure in a society full of pollution.
Yes there will always be good things my son with learning difficulties will miss out on but there are so many things he will never do that make me proud to be his mum.
