A letter to the new Mum on the ward

Carolyn Voisey by Carolyn Voisey Additional Needs

Carolyn Voisey

Carolyn Voisey

Mum to one incredible little dude, I work full time in higher education and have my own small business as a jewellery designer/creator. I love noth...

A letter to the new Mum on the ward

I saw you earlier as I passed the cubicle on the way to grab a coffee. I know this is probably one of your first times here, you haven’t yet had the chance to build the armour those of us who’ve walked this path for longer wear, the way when you smile you think you hope to hide the fear in your eyes, as if convincing yourself that it will all somehow be ok.

You don’t know me, but I recognise myself in you. You may have just heard your childs diagnosis for the first time.

You may have just been left reeling, or even relieved that it wasn’t all in your head, or that someone listened. I recognise the pale face and dark circles that speak of nights spent watching over your child, the strongest and most ferocious protector any child could ever ask for.

I see you.

12 years ago, I was you. My world had shattered and we were scrambling for a new ‘normal’ in the chaos of a life-changing diagnosis. The years have changed me for the better.

I’ve learnt that you are allowed to grieve for the life you dreamt about. It is ok to grieve for a child that is alive, to grieve what they have lost too.

But believe me, the love you have for your child will carry you both when you don’t think you can keep going. And the life we have now is better than we could ever dared imagine.

You are going to find strength you didn’t know you had. Even if you are naturally quiet and shy you will find your voice. You will learn resilience. You will see the beauty and the joy in the simplest of things.

Your child will be the greatest source of pride and joy you could ever imagine and you will absolutely develop a sense of humour that may be shocking to some but that will keep you laughing through the most difficult times.

And you will find your Tribe.

You will find friends here that will stay by your side through whatever is to come. The parents you will meet and forge lifelong bonds with.

The nursing and medical staff who together with you will become a formidable team. You may never get answers to the questions you have now, the why’s, and the what if’s will always be there but they won’t always be so close to the surface.

It may not feel like it now, but you have been given the greatest gift imaginable. These incredible children are miracles. They are our greatest teachers and although I know you really wish you weren’t here right now, it really will be ok.

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