A Mighty Love

Parenting isn’t a job for the faint of heart. It’s a craft guaranteed to supply ceaseless challenges.

When you’re the parent of a child with multiple disabilities and special healthcare needs, the challenges presented are unique.

They completely eclipse the ordinary, commonplace demands of child rearing.

My forty-seven-year-old brain is brimming; overly filled with complicated medical information that I never dreamed of acquiring. My mind never rests; it’s always on-call, and ready to spring into action if an emergency arises. Worry and anxiety are as much a part of daily life as breathing air. There are often late-night wakeups and always caffeine fueled mornings. My back is forever tweaked from executing everyday transfers just a little too quickly.

Some days, the weight of it all can get heavy.

Other days, I find it easier to push through exhaustion and summon the strength needed to be the mom that my fourteen-year-old daughter needs and deserves.

She’s an incredible blessing to me, and I’d do anything in this world for her.

Although she is nonverbal, there is a feeling that she both expresses and understands effortlessly. No matter the struggles we encounter or the obstacles we find ourselves up against, there’s a glue that binds us. It propels us forward. A single emotion that makes every solitary second of this life worthwhile exists here, in abundance.

LOVE.

When she brings her little nose close to mine and shuts her eyes tightly in a grin that envelops her entire face, love is easily seen.

When she reaches her arms up and gently pulls her Daddy in for a long, tight hug, love is strongly felt.

When she babbles three indistinct syllables back to us, after we tell her, “I love you”, love is loudly heard.

It doesn’t require words.

It’s beyond them.

When you become a parent, unconditional love takes up permanent residence in your heart. When your child has additional needs and you find yourself navigating uncharted territory to protect them, love becomes an unstoppable force that drives you.

It moves mountains.

It is MIGHTY.

It gives you unexplainable fortitude; the power necessary to tackle all that has been assigned to you. It provides a steadiness to stare any adversity in the face. Even as your advocating voice cracks, your knees wobble and your hands tremble, it provides the courage to keep standing.

This love picks you up and dusts you off. It renews your spirit.

It carries you through.

When our day comes to an end and my body and mind are worn out, one thing remains. As I snuggle up and read the same familiar stack of bedtime books to my daughter, I feel all the “hard” of this life melt away. With her head sweetly nestled on my shoulder, and her tiny fingers helping me turn the pages, all of that vanishes. In that moment, there is only this mighty love.

It will be there again tomorrow, to help us do it all over again.