Another year ends

As another year comes to an end it always brings around times of reflection and looking back on the year you've had. BUT what if I don’t want to look back on the year we've had because it’s been yet another hard year!

A year which has featured yet again more hospital visits, hospital stays, operations, illness and more medical things to learn and adapt to. A year which has challenged us all. A year which if I’m honest I didn’t know whether my son would see the end of. A year which bought so many decisions that we had to make.

No matter how much you try to find the positives of the year and the fun times you did manage and you try to forget those harder moments, the hard times still dominate your thoughts. When there's so much trauma they dominate over the positive moments.

Time is so precious and we try to make the most of our time together.

So when so many things get cancelled, changed or half happen it’s pretty hard to not be disheartened. Feeling that we've wasted those precious times. It’s hard to see those around you carrying on having fun and living life whilst you are almost stuck still but time is still flying by!

We never know what tomorrow brings, but something this journey has taught me is to value every moment we do get together no matter where we are.

I know it all comes hand in hand with having a medically complex child, but I wish it was less trauma and more fun!

I've had a lot of therapy this year and its certainly helped give me lots of perspective and to not be hard on myself when things are out of my control. I have worked hard this year with my trauma therapy and how I deal with situations. Even with therapy though it’s okay to be sad and not want to reflect on the year we've had.

I’m trying to not treat this year as a write off even though I want to! There have still been moments of calm and for those I’m grateful for. It’s just another chapter in this journey. I just hope the next chapter brings more fun and allows us all a break!