When You’re Fifteen

I see pure joy on your face when you’re listening to your favorite songs.

Your eyes sparkle and your bright smile illuminates while you gently move your head along with the beat.

My precious teenage daughter, your ninth-grade year is quickly approaching.

We’ve played the song “Fifteen” together at least a hundred times, but until today, the opening lyrics of it never brought stinging tears to my eyes. As the end of the school year is drawing near, it hits me that you will not get to experience any of the typical upcoming high school freshman things. Your high school experience won’t mirror the lyrics of your beloved Taylor Swift melody.

Thankfully, you will escape all the crises that freshman girls endure. The pressures and burdens that come along with this rite of passage won’t weigh you down. For this, I am so grateful. You won’t have your heart broken by a boy, or struggle to understand Algebra. There will be no nerve-wracking driving tests or cheerleader tryouts. You won’t be exposed to mean girls or feel the need to fit in. Although I feel comfort and peace in knowing that you won’t be subjected to all the common ninth-grade stressors and drama, a wave of sadness still crashes over me.

I am heavy hearted in thinking of others moving forward, while we are standing still.

Social media bombards me with all the milestone moments and achievements of children your age. I am so happy for them, and I do genuinely share in their excitement. However, there’s always a dull ache that presents that I can’t ignore.

It’s only an occasional pang of grief, and it passes quickly. Our milestones look different. I wish the world could see how you work SO much harder for the things most people take for granted. Others just can’t comprehend the strength and determination that you put forth, every day of your life.

I never want you to feel as if you’re missing out. I never want you to be overlooked.

Your story may not reflect that of most teenagers, but my beautiful girl, there will be so much in store for you when you’re fifteen.

You’ll keep working towards your goals and we’ll celebrate every amazing inch forward.

When you’re fifteen, your Daddy and I will still cuddle with you on the sofa and read all your most treasured books to you. We’ll play peek-a-boo. When you grab our hands and pull, we’ll sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” to you. You’ll make strides in therapy and in your classroom. We’ll make sure you’re living your life to the fullest and that you’re happy and safe.

You’ll do great things when you’re fifteen and I can’t wait to be in the front row to watch. You’ll continue to make our hearts burst with pride, like you have since you were born.