Finding their ‘thing’

My disabled son is so hard to buy gifts for. He’s never played with toys, he can’t play computer games, he hasn’t the ability to play sports and he hasn’t got the understanding for boxed games.

Christmas and birthdays are some of the hardest days of the year.

But there are things he does love: food, routine, his nightly bath, FaceTiming his gran, and going on the school bus. Over the years I’ve strived to give him opportunities and experiences despite his severe learning disabilities, epilepsy and autism. I tend to look for accessible activities like ten pin bowling, swimming, beach trips, sensory rooms, trampoline parks, and, when he was younger, soft plays.

While he seemed to tolerate these and get fleeting enjoyment none of them appeared to be his ‘thing’, the one activity or hobby that he visibly loved even when he couldn’t tell me.

Then I discovered by accident one day when out and about that he flapped and clapped every time we were in a lift.

So, I deliberately made a huge effort to visit places with lifts and his face was a picture of delight when one day I typed in ‘lifts’ to YouTube and we discovered that some amazing (almost certainly autistic like him) individuals made entire channels dedicated to ‘lift tours’.

That soon became his most watched videos, the ‘thing’ that brought him pleasure and excited him most.

That was until I was right next to him one day as he was watching one of these videos and I realised that the location was in fact not that far away from where we live.

So, I set about planning a surprise for him where he could experience these lifts in real life. As they were in a city centre location I took a huge risk and planned a train trip praying he wouldn’t have a seizure or struggle with the change.

Little did I know that riding that train would prove to be every bit as wonderful for him as the lifts he got to see.

Now we make regular trips on that train to see those same lifts and then we choose some food in the shopping centre food court before getting the train back home.

It’s not something he can unwrap for his birthday or Christmas. It’s not what most teenagers want to spend their weekends doing.

But what matters to us is that we’ve finally found his ‘thing’.

And that, as his mum, is absolutely priceless.